LIFE IS A TEACHER

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LIFE IS A TEACHER

Life is a great teacher.  Life continues to teach through the various experiences as we grow.  From birth till death. Lessons that are not learnt well are repeated again and again. We must strive for progress not perfection. This is evolution.

I would like to share with you a quote by Osho that really spoke to my heart and inspired me this morning: “Be grateful to everyone, because everybody is creating a space for you to be transformed – even those who think they are obstructing you, even those whom you think are enemies. Your friends, your enemies, good people and bad people, favorable circumstances, unfavorable circumstances – all together they are creating the context in which you can be transformed and become a Buddha. Be grateful to all. To those who have helped, to those who have hindered, to those who have been indifferent. Be grateful to all, because altogether they are creating the contexts in which Buddhas are born – in which you can become a Buddha.” We are all unique expressions of the whole; essentially one soul. They are all teachers.

Life is like a traffic jam. We are all in Chaos. There are billboards advertisements making us aware where to pause and halt while carrying suitcase and baggage of life – experiences, memories and musings. The clock when stop, we don’t know. There are many roses and thorns in this solitary journey. Success and failure are all metaphors and perceptions.

When hit by the rock bottom – we must say, “Hey, baby, get up, never give up , first thing first , pain is the touch stone of success. It is a celebration in fact. Pain is growth, pain is celebration. And be grateful for the storms because the storm has made you the best sailor.

ye safar bahut hai kathin magar na udaas ho mere hamasafar , nahi rahanevaali ye mushkile ye hai agale mod pe mazile , meri baat kaa tu yakin kar meri baat kaa tu yakin kar,na udaas ho mere hamasafar !

 WOW - Construct A Story

 

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

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My Teens … My School Days are best age of my life

My Teens … My School Days are best age of my life

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How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose we know not, though sometimes sense it. But we know from daily life that we exist for other people, first of all for whose smiles and well- being our own happiness depends. Leaving high school, the most valuable thing I had taken with me is the memories and I want to thank every person for playing a part in them, to my friends, you have gone beyond the limits of what one has to do for another, my life will be forever richer and more beautiful because you were a part of it, I love you with all my heart, to those who were my slap in the face, to the close-minded or misunderstanding, to those who broke my heart, you all changed me to become the person I wanted to be, I am stronger because of the trials you had put my through and no matter what you had done to me, you had unknowingly done so much for me, to every person who inspired me by the way they lived their life, to those who were my shoulder to cry on, to those I found myself with in my moments of pure joy, to those who have understood me, to the people I shared inside jokes with, to anyone who had held my hand, or for that matter.

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Be aware of how you talk to yourself, whether you’re telling yourself I can or I can’t. Then let the words be filled with cheerful confidence. Recognize any feelings that prevent you from believing in yourself. Then let those feelings go. Let go of fear and feeling overwhelmed. You can learn the new task. You can harmonize with your new boss. You can learn to take care of yourself. You can. You can. And you will. You can and will grow into this role. You’re not defective. Neither is your shovel. Grab it, and dig in. Let the changes happen. Take extra loving care of yourself. Be attentive to what you need. The magic isn’t gone; it hasn’t disappeared. You’re just going through a shift. That means things are moving, and movement is good. More language of letting go. You’re learning something new.

 

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This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

Looking outside my Window

Looking outside my Window

As I look outside my window, I find glimmer of hopes. Living one day at a time on daily basis keeps me going. Appreciate being human on this earth, not the consumer goods you acquire with currency. ( the pigeon on my room window and the honest friend in the water ) . Doing good to others is not a duty, it is a joy, for it increases our own health and happiness.

( the pigeon on my room window )

The heart has a window too. In this cacophony of life , retrace and competition , we are lacking sensibilities. The life I am so busy planning and worrying about will likely not be as I imagine it. I will have forgotten something or an unforeseen circumstance will alter my plan. Did I know ten years ago that this is what I would be doing now? If only I could let go of the constant low level of anxiety about my unknown future, I am sure today would feel longer, deeper and less complicated. I can only solve today – it is the only time that is actually within my reach.

(I found the nest of sparrow on the bar of the window screen in the morning . This makes my day . )

In the morning, I wake up and say, “God, thank You for another beautiful day. I commit this day, my plans and my future into your hands.” When I start the day like this, I am acknowledging God. He promises to crown your day with success. Before you go to bed, I review my entire day and say : “Lord, thank You for a good night’s rest.” When you’re acknowledging Him in all your ways, He promises to direct your paths. He promises to lead and guide you into paths of peace, joy and everlasting life and I forgive myself for the mistakes I have committed consciously or unconsciously. This makes me free.

 

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(my  honest friend in the water tank  )

We are our own rescuers. Our relationships will improve dramatically when we stop rescuing others and stop expecting them to rescue us.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

Life is a revolution . Zindagi har kadam ek nayi jung hai

Life is a revolution …..

This lyrics goes along with me ….  ( 20914678_10213273118198950_7747386639508583132_n… Life at every step is a new battle… Hausla na chhod, kar saamna jahan ka
Hausla na chhod, kar saamna jahan ka,Woh badal raha dekh rang aasman ka,Rang aasman ka,Yeh shiqast ka nahi, yeh fateh ka rang hai,Zindagi har kadam ek nayi jung hai (Don’t give up and fight the world, Look, the colour of the sky is changing, This is the colour of victory and not defeat).

This is not only a song to me, a part me too. Life is a continuous battle. Every favourable situation weakens your mind, and odds strengthen you. We lack infirmity of will. But it is ok. We rise, we fall but we have to stand. This song not only motivates me but also hit my soul hard not to stop. I am a lawyer; I never fight in the street. But there are some hooligans /criminal lawyers who assaulted me in the street. I will fight with them still my last breath. They started the war in the street but I will end them at Apex.

We will not achieve, we will not master that which goes unplanned in our dream world. We imagine first, and then we conceive the execution of a plan. Our minds prepare us for success. They can also prepare us for failure if we let our thoughts become negative. In this path of my recovery, I have to rigorously honest. If I at all cheat, I will cheat to myself. Life is a continuous sadhana. In the words Paramhamsa Satyananda , “Assaults , abuses , injustices, taunts , harassments , discomforts , etc . have strengthen my personality . Let me – Adapt, Accept, Accommodate, . Bear Insult, Bear Injury; highest sadhana.  Be fearless, Cowards never acquire power of life.”

War is justified only when it is meant to fight evil and injustice, not for the purpose of aggression or terrorizing people. The real war is within … change of thoughts and our personalities. A rebel reforms himself. Everything in Mahabharata is symbolic. Krishna awakens Arjuna … how to control the senses and emotions through Yoga. It is an inner awakening rather I can say. It is to face the inner war within infected by self –centeredness, jealousy, self seeking, self-delusion, anger , envy and prideful self Confidence, Ego and Big I .

Bhagavad Gita enlightens us how to you face and overcome fears/worries/social pressures/envy/Jealousy. It is not a philosophy a practical tool. An action taken too soon can be as ineffective as one taken too late. Itcan backfire and cause more problems than it solves. Usually, when we wait until the time is right – sometimes only a matter of minutes or hours – the discomfort dissolves, and we’re empowered to accomplish what
we need to do.

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and Wisdom to know the difference. Thy will, not mine, be done.

20914678_10213273118198950_7747386639508583132_nThis post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

30 Minutes and Beyond

30 Minutes and Beyond

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My theory, my point, my constitution, an independent viewpoint. What to write what not to write, thoughts come and evaporate. Writing needs a flow and a passion. Some reject, some accept, some edit but just let it happen. Most of the eminent personalities of the world have faced rejection but they were persistent in their effort  and that matters in their life.

Adversity and rejection creates mental strength, equilibrium and stability, while favourable situations weaken the mind. Only the progress made in the face of opposition is everlasting. I never fix up a limit to my writing. Whatever comes to my mind I jot it in my diary – a pocket size. Then later on I try to elaborate.

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Serious writers like Lt Uma Shankar Panda – an Odia Literature writer didn’t wait to be inspired. Serious writers roll up their sleeves and get down to the business of writing. According to him “Being inspired” smacks of amateurish, daydream passivity, the notion that some supernatural presence must appear before us before the words can flow. He draws inspirations basically from nature, human psychology, and the human behaviour. To be inspired by people is to be continually rewarded with story ideas. People are walking, talking stories. Everyone we encounter has the potential for contributing to our understanding of human nature—if we allow ourselves to be inspired by human nature in all its diversity. Inspiration matters because it prods us to traverse the full spectrum of human experience. An important part of what it means to be a writer is to become so turned on to the business of being alive, to be so completely inspired by life, that you will harvest ideas for writing everywhere—from books, from people, from music and other art forms, from the natural world, and most of all from your own inner resources. There are ripples created in the mind and heart which is expressed in the themes of poetries and other prose writings such as stories, novels and plays. He was very frank about it and declared openly. His advice to Young writers, ” He replied , “ A progressive trend is flourishing. Mindset style of work is gradually changing with the influence of social, political and life style of the countrymen at present.

To me writing is a journey. Meditating on my writing is injurious to health. Just read it and toss it away from your mind. This is absolutely bizarre. But still I fix up the timer and wrote this nonsensical stuff. I hope here from my bloggers and writers friends sooner.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

Let the Honeymoon Continues… 

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|| Let the Honeymoon Continues… ||

According to Albert Einstein “Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”

It is wedding season in India, the time of year when astrologers say the omens are best for a long and successful marriage. There’s been a 100% increase in divorce rates in the past five years alone. Most of those splitting up are members of India’s thriving, urban middle class whose lives have been transformed by India’s boom, and whose aspirations are radically different to those of their parents and grandparents, and also downtrodden. The pressures of the modern workplace make a bigger difference, than whether it was a traditional arranged marriage, or a so-called “love marriage”. Ultra smart and ultra modern attitude and that to be borrowed one is the cause. Most girls they won’t prefer to stay within laws, for the reason best known. I also feel they lack patience and tolerance. They don’t want to put more efforts into a relationship to fix the issues, and they feel that escapism is the solution. The courts are now seeing so many new cases that the government has proposed making divorce easier and faster, in line with other countries. I met a person working at a MNC; they fell in love as teenagers, married in their early 20s and separated three years ago when she walked out. What is this? If both husband and wife is earning then it is beneficial as now days inflation increases. As well as why we should we waste her knowledge no doubt if she is earning equal or more than husband it creates some issues but it depends upon love and understanding. Today’s working environment has changed drastically. The economy having opened up, most companies are facing intense competition and this leads to tremendous pressure on employees. Working late, 6 days a week, without holidays and with a boss who breathes down your throat can create a lot of frustration and tension. This can destroy a marriage, whether it’s just one partner working, or both.

Nuclear families have meant loneliness for the non-working partner, compounded by moving away from familiar environments. This can result in estrangement, affairs, sex. Its,” main kyu karu ?”. The woman in the relationship, thinks herself to be independent, and an independent woman does not compromise irrespective to anything. On the other hand, a man in the relationship is “The Man”, why should he also compromise on being a stay -home dad. As, a result the relationship breaks. It is a two way thing! I want to divorce my husband because he is not well-endowed- A lady version. A marriage counsellor could also help, provided both of you decide to get out of denial. In my opinion, a woman satisfaction is in her head. Indian parents are very involved with their adult children’s life and life choices. So if your son/daughter is divorced, you as a parent have failed. This is an additional  thing for couples to think about. It’s just not about them, its also about the family. Men and women are probably equally honest about who they are before marriage. The problem is, we all leave things out-and it’s really hard to recount every experience that you’ve ever had to your significant other, especially if the experience/trait/story doesn’t carry a whole lot of weight for you, personally. Many people are just unrealistic when it comes to their expectations in marriage. You are marrying another person that lived a whole lifetime before they met you. People are complex by design. Women are not out there seeking to ‘trap’ or trick a man…there are very few (very, very few) men that it would be worth a woman’s effort to trap. Marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, but marry someone having a soul . Well, whatever men want, the truth is that women are not going to go back to their traditional gender roles in fact the opposite is happening. More and more women are going out into the big bad world…and it’s good. Modern industrialized society is different from an agricultural economy and women need to contribute. Whether for men or women, I guess greater comfort levels with the changed gender roles is a must! Women need to value and respect men who earn less than them and men need to put aside their egos when faced with a woman who earns more. Obvious but easier said than done! I just hope we don’t have to wait for another hundred years.

According to surveys and being a lawyer , I find man are the worst sufferers . These husbands were unfortunate to get a bride from feminist/matriarchal families, who play by the simple rule that either husband is under their thumbs, or they file legal/criminal cases on him to extort a ‘mutual’ divorce and settlement running starting from  demand of 20 lakh to no upper limit, or/and properties of husband’s family.  After that, they may enjoy that settlement money or target their next victim.  But it has been seen that their intention in life is more about destroying things and it is probably true that they don’t care about their societal image or even giving second marriage any seriousness.  For them, the only serious business about marriage is how to enslave husband and get his property and money if he balks at it.

Most men facing 498A, DV, maintenance etc are into private sector jobs Most of such men facing these issues are into professional jobs like IT, finance, BPO etc.  Very few will be from business or such related work.  Also, it is rarer to see men from independent professions like CA, doctors etc. They are from typical middle-class families, with a mindset of playing by the rules, and being good citizens etc.  It is easier to manipulate such families. Many reasons leads to divorce , High expectations are the key to everything unless of course we are talking about marriage. Expectations and laziness can go hand in hand when it comes to predicting whether a marriage will end in divorce. Men and women both make a lot of assumptions when it comes to marriage and what to expect from a marriage. These assumptions are based on many variables and problems arise when the outcome (marriage) doesn’t meet the assumptions or expectations. Expectations rarely align with the realities of what life is like inside marriage. I’ll give you an example of unmet expectations from my own marriage. Women are taught by society that men want sex, that men think about sex and that sex is just second nature to men. According to society, if you marry a man you can expect that man to want sex with you. According to a lady , “I married a man who defined his own rules when it came to sex. He didn’t think about sex, it was not second nature to him and since he married a woman who expected her husband to desire her sexually it goes without saying that there were problems in the marriage, problems that lead to divorce. If he had communicated to me before marriage his lack of desire I would not have married him.”  This is where communication and expectations play a role in the outcome of marriages. Communication before marriage can keep down any unrealistic expectations one may have of marriage. Separation is not about infidelity or unhappiness. Divorce can be and is avoided by those willing to work hard at marriage, those who know how to effectively communicate and those whose expectations are realistic.

It has been seen couple together for 23 years filling for divorce, strange. The reasons are far less dramatic. Some relationships have been in decline for decades and finally lose all their juice. A marriage doesn’t usually just blow up. It’s more like a balloon that has been seeping air for a long time. After a while, it’s totally deflated. A typical scenario is where a husband and wife live increasingly different lives: He gets more and more involved into work and she gets more and more into her children. Lack of communication and loss of trust are also issues that can seriously push a marriage toward divorce. The overwhelming majority of marriages are not presented with such mega challenges. Still, plenty of breakups occur after a relationship of many years. Although some people are able to negotiate the inevitable bumps in the road, for others those bumps turn into a sinkhole — something that they cannot seem to climb out of. Men, bored by the constraints of monogamy and domesticity, heartlessly dump their girlfriends or leave their wives. While newly-single men enjoy the freedoms of single-hood, their exes sob into a pint of ice cream. Men crave relationships and marriage  much as women .  If you know a guy who has recently gone through a breakup, don’t assume that he’s taking it easily. Obviously, it is important to provide the same help and sympathy to women, but women may have an easier time seeking a confidant and asking for assistance. It is not easy for both the sexes.

Sex is also an important aspect too, it cannot be ignored. The spark has to be on, libido. It is a lucky and unusual couple who, decades into a marriage, still feel the same passion for each other that ignited their early relationship. Far more common is the story of the once-happy sex life that has waned as the years passed — that initial physical bond becoming fractured in the maelstrom of raising children, earning a living, running a house and growing older. Sex is the vital component in a functioning relationship, but it doesn’t have to be incredibly frequent. A couple just need to know they have those moments of intimacy which only they share, and which bond them together.

God is worshiped as Shakti, the mother of all creation. The rites and rituals of Hindu marriage date back to our forefather Manu. In Manu Smriti it has been laid down that Hindus should conceive of marriage as a union meant for the performance of religious and spiritual duties. It could not take place without the performance of sacred rites and ceremonies. Although the modern age has given rise to adaptations to the way in which we carry out Hindu weddings, it seems appropriate that we continue passing down certain traditions that have been with us since time immemorial. Finally, when a relationship starts, there is usually an outpouring of affection. You want to show how much you care for that person and what better way than showering them with material gifts. These gestures will end, suddenly, whether it is because credit cards were maxed out, or annoyance creeps in. This can be a deal breaker. The truth is, slow and steady wins the race. If you are lucky enough to find someone who burns an eternal flame in your heart  – keep it that way. Feelings of butterflies don’t have to go away. True love is supposed to last forever, so why can’t the sensations last, as well?

By – Siddhartha shankar Mishra

( The author is a lawyer and work on Human Rights & Socio-Legal Awareness )

Media and its different shadows

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Media and its different shadows

 Journalism is a discipline of collecting, verifying, reporting and analyzing information gathered regarding current events, including trends, issues and people. Those who practice journalism are known as journalists. It is the profession of reporting or photographing or editing news stories for one of the media such as newspapers or magazines. It is a style of writing for presenting bare facts to describe news events. Journalism plays a very important role in society.

Media should be the mirror of the society. Is the media to-day presenting the true reflection? For all the times Media tilt towards the big people. But in early days the tilt was for good cause. In present days the tilt is purely for deriving benefit. Media has not able to maintain it s status as a noble institution; but on the contrary is has turned into pure business.

In early days song, dance, drama and poetry etc. formed the media. It was more or less linked with religion. Its prime duty is to narrate greatness of the deities. But with that they propagate the good values in life and help to regulate the society with devotion & fear. Also it could create rebellion at the time of need. This form of media has not lost its relevancy.

Radio emerged during world war. It served the people and the government with dedication. It was a strong medium for cultural exchange worldwide. But its role was is limited as it remained under government control.

Emergence of print media provided scope for liberated and progressive views. It was the strong medium for spread of freedom, democracy and justice. It was given due importance in the liberated and democratic world. But misusing its status now a day it plays the role of power broker for rich & affluent people. Sometime before media people are struggling for batter pay and working condition etc. But now days they are able to generate all the benefits by any means.

Electronic media has emerged strong. Its audio visual effect has great impact. But its overdoses of information and focus on some particular class of people have a very demising effect. It sidelines the real issues and problems. The internet may break it barrier. It is immersing truly as peoples media. But it is an unruly brat.

 

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In modern days Cinema is another strong media. Though it survives on the wealth of rich, even on criminally accumulated wealth; it would speak the problems of poor more effectively. It is able to raise the issues more sensitively and effectively. Perhaps it provides the closest reflection of the society and thoughts of its people. Even the Indian Cinema which is defamed for its unrealistic presentations is doing marvelous in presenting the reality of the society and people’s vies & thoughts in its own style.

Lots have been written so far about the tragic serial bomb blast at Mumbai’s Opera House,Zaveri Bazaar and Dadar, which had once again shattered the financial capital of world’s largest democracy. No doubt, it’s the most barbaric act of cruelty, yet again witnessed by the people of Mumbai. In the last one decade, the city of dreams has been deteriorated by five tragic bomb blasts. Though, each blast pillaged the city, it was unable to discolour the spirits of Mumbai people even by a stroke. These blasts were an act of mousiness by some miscellaneous group who think that by doing such things they can break the spirits of Indians. What they don’t know is that with every such incident, we Indian will become stronger.

No doubt, being the most prosperous city of the country, Mumbai is the most vulnerable location for such acts, which helps the instigators to gain maximum publicity, which is the central aim behind such terrorist activities. It’s not hidden from anyone that atrocious acts in big cities get maximum media coverage and attract global attention. Had these blasts taken place in some remote location of Jharkhand state or let’s say a tribal region of Assam, they would have surely have been forgotten within a day and might have been confined to the state news only.

As said by America’s all time great entertainer Will Rogers, “We don’t give our criminals much punishment, but surely give them plenty of publicity.” So, does it imply that most of the terrorist activities have been executed for the sole purpose of gaining outside publicity? And if it is so than, undoubtedly, media helps such obnoxious terrorist acts by providing them the unwarranted attention. Malcom X said once, “Media is the most powerful entity on the earth? It has the power to make the innocent guilty and to make the guilty innocent, because Media control the mind of masses.” He had pictured media as a powerful medium in the mindset of common people. No doubt, media has huge competence but as they say, “big power comes with big responsibilities”. So here a question arises, whether today’s media is really responsible towards its duty or is it a victim of showering unwarranted prejudices towards some culled news only, to gain TRP which ultimately helps it to allure more advertisers.

The way the devoted endeavour of Swami Nigamanand had been neglected by Indian media long back in 2011; shows that it is attracted more towards hot cake type of saleable news and doesn’t bother a bit about news that’s related to life of common man. Not to forget that Swami Nigamanand died after fasting for nearly four months against illegal mining and stone crushing near the river Ganga in Haridwar in the same hospital of Dehradun where Baba Ram Dev was admitted. It’s an irony that the chivalrous effort of Swami Nigamanand could not attract the attention of India media whereas an uneventful hunger strike of Baba Ramdev, which was full of all sort of melo-drama, was covered by almost every media channel of the country.

In another outrageous event, when the Indian media was engaged in covering absconding Baba Ramdev in the capital city of the country, a small hamlet in remote Bihar was witnessing the brutal act of policy fiendishness, where almost 8 innocent villagers were killed from point blank. Two days prior, when Delhi was witnessing the hullabaloo of Baba Ramdev, in Forbesganj (small village of Bihar), around 200 people were protesting against the unjustified blockade of a connecting road between two villages, which has been blocked by a factory partially owned by a local MP. Instead of supporting the destitute villagers, police not only opened fire on the protestors and chased them to their homes, but also killed women and infants. Surprisingly, not a single media house covered this incident in its prime time news. It was only after a conscious team of an awaken society covered the news on their website that the local governing bodies came into action. But unfortunately, until now, this particular news of Bihar Police’s villainous act has not been able to gather the attention of national media. Quitesad!

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The way media has celebrated the works of Jarnal Singh, Pavas Agarwal and Hitesh Chouhan, it deserves serious denouncement. You must be guessing what is common between these three men? All these people have been made popular by our media. They threw shoes at some of the most respected and designated figures of the country, like prime minister and home minister.

Similarly, at a point where media doesn’t leave any chance to cover live interviews of newbie cricketers like Virat Kohli or Ishant Sharma or telecast a full coverage of marriage ceremony of an athlete like boxer Vijender Singh, it’s painful to find that the coverage of National Games is not on their agenda. I am not questioning the contributions of Virat, Ishant or Vijendra. They have indeed brought huge laurels to the country and have received due acknowledgment from the society for it. But why always events like National Games suffer weird biasness. Aren’t national games importance? Despondently, it’s only the national doordarshan channel that covered the recently held National Games whereas all private news channels disaffiliate themselves from the games.

Today television channels and newspapers are making fast money by cashing on the news in wrong sense and wrong way. In the race to become more popular and to make money they have broken all the limits media must follow while serving to build a healthy and progressive society. They have no respect for the sentiments and ethics of the people and land whom they serve to, with their immense power to influence the masses they just make judgment like a true dictator rather than a good advice of a true friend as they previously used to do. If it will be going in the future then we people have to think about the role of media in our life.

I think media plays a very powerful role in bringing awareness in the society. And it has increased a lot off-the-late. The main reason is that common people rely on media to know all happenings. And the reach of media to common people has increased a lot nowadays. So the role of media is undismissable.

Lastly, according to me media is one of the most enlivening features of our life with fresh ideas and innovative use of technology. Admittedly, there has been a flood of wrong notions; medias are expression of creativity that need space and liberty to flourish. It is also the role of the media is to show the ugly picture of the society whatever may be the mirror reflects. Let not anybody play big brother and cripple the creative potential of the media.

All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They never defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced on them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else.