Nada Brahma – My first Experience of the Inner Nada

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Nada Brahma – My first Experience of the Inner Nada

Paramhamsa Satyananda , the founder of Bihar School of Yoga said , “No matter what you do, whether you practice bhastrika or Rajanishaji, or the transcendental meditation of Maharishi, or the ajapa japa of Swami Satyananda, or any method of any Swamiji, the barrier shall stay there, and no one can break this barrier. You have to first fix the mind. I believe that we must transcend the mind rather than kill the mind. I sometimes even believe that we have to jump over the mind rather than transform it. In many of my books, I have spoken about the transformation of the mind, but now I feel that rather than use the word ‘transform’, a better expression would be to ‘transcend’ the mind.

Awareness is the key factor here. Nothing can be suppressed and nothing can be fulfilled. It is a rigorous sadhana and life time practice. Spiritual life is not a theory, we have to live it. Faith works, if you work. One must practice spiritual progress rather on spiritual perfection. Old habits crops up, a regular vigil is important. A spot check inventory on anytime is the need of the hour. We are humans.


It was in September 23rd or 24th of 2015, I don’t exactly remember the dates . My first introduction to Osho meditation camp happened in that year. Prior to to that I was reading about Osho. The meditation camp was facilitated by Maa Prem Arpita. We have done wide varieties of meditations. But the one which influenced my life is Nada Brahma Meditation.


First of all what is Nada ? Nada is a Sanskrit term of “Sound’. According to Yogis , Nada is the hidden energy of inner and outer cosmos. Nada Brahma is an One Hour practice. It is cathartic and cleansing. It is better to do in empty stomach. It is like humming bee sound but a louder version. It works tremendous on emotional and mental level. Mental purging is being done. It is is of three stages. First while sitting one has to do the humming and second and third is the hand movements , which create an inner balance, a harmony between mind and body along with music.  As Osho said, “So in Nadabrahma, remember this: let the body and mind be totally together, but remember that you have to become a witness. Get out of them, easily, slowly, from the back door, with no fight, with no struggle.” Since then I am doing it on regular basis.

After the camp was over, suddenly a thought cropped up ——-


I know people – even good friends – who say that they have past life memories. It seems disrespectful to not believe them; after all, on what basis can I deny they are true? On the other hand, I am not able to believe what they believe because my own integrity depends on only accepting rebirth if I have adequate verification. I am sure what people perceive as past life memories can be quite convincing to people who experience them. Such perceptions sometimes arise in meditation, especially in the calm of deep meditation where dream-like images easily occur. I have visualized and “experienced” events in meditation that seemed real but turned out to be projections of my imaginative mind.Based on that belief people get engaged in different techniques and meditations to prepare themselves for their next life. If people know there is a way to prepare for and influence their next incarnation, it naturally reduces the fear of death and dying.Knowing your own abilities in that respect you gain confidence and the fear is greatly reduced or overcome.I can easily understand this perspective for it is one I held myself for the first forty years of my life. The soul is essentially stuck in a never ending cycle of rebirth which can never be broken due to the continual need to balance one’s karma. Some of this karma can be worked off in life in the form of good works, but this is seldom sufficient to work off the entire debt, which must be accounted for in the next life by having the soul take on an incarnation that may be more difficult so the ongoing karmic debt can be worked off.There comes a time when the soul has to prepare to leave the comforting sanctuary of the Spirit World and embark upon another journey on earth. The moment you choose to be reborn is the last moment you get to enjoy the omniscience of knowing who and what they are, and souls often spent their last moments in deep silence and stillness to fully appreciate the experience.“Human being” is just a mask your soul is wearing right now, and when your mask falls off at physical death, you return back home to the love and light from which you came.You are a miracle, and your life is not meaningless. You chose to be where you are right now, even if you are in a place that is really difficult to cope with.



Long-Distance Love survive … Have Faith !

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Long-Distance Love survive … Have Faith !

First her body allures you and slowly it transforms into divine love. Nothing attached and you still be happy listening to her. That’s the beauty. Yes, sometimes I feel I am faraway; I can’t connect with her one to one, instantly. But when you start trusting on yourself and someone without any biases and prejudices … things happen and I have faith. The fear of rejection was there and I accepted it. Dig deeply. Look inside. There’s all kinds of dreams buried in you. Go ahead. 

If I don’t trust someone on other end, I will be doing all kinds of drama, being negative, creating conflict to test and prod the person to see if that person really loves me, interfering in her space. That’s not love. Sometimes my words sound too heavy for her. But this is what I am. We are all unique species. We have our perception and our own differences. Despite of this, if one strives with a clear conscience and having full faith with total acceptance and surrender – things prosper.

Relationships have way more deep meaning than it looks like.  Any relationships starts with attraction first, physical, sensual, lust and whatever you can add. A spiritual love is when you start understanding – being sensible and loving the quirks and idiosyncrasy of that person. Spiritual love is when loving that person makes your heart bulge because it feels divine and even a small talk over phone gives you immense happiness. If you accept your own spiritual nature and your partner is willing as well, can grow into an experience of spiritual worship. When you love, physical, human, and divine, it can be phenomenal and wondrous.

Earlier I was having a different meaning of love but not now. Yes, I do feel about her, caressing her, teasing her and romancing with her but I trust the Universal timing. When your love is pure no matter what corner of earth you stay, the Universe listens and unshakable faith is the crux of the issue. It is more spiritual than physical. Each of us is special to one another. And we are special to this very moment. This changing and renewing of my inner-self is extremely painful at times. Rise in Love , not fall in Love.

I love her and will love her till my last breath. Being Love!



The Monk who renew my Life – My Gratitude


The Monk who renew my Life – My Gratitude

2011, December, a tall, lanky monk, head shaven, pillion-rides a scooter with me in Sambalpur, a city in Odisha. As we move across the streets, people give him not much notice. Before 1992, he could have been mobbed by fans of their favourite hero.

We stop at a roadside tea stall. Pouring tea into paper cups, the owner looks in our direction thrice as if to recollect something. As the tea is served, he says to the monk with a smile, “You resemble the famous Sriram Panda, the Big B of Oriya film industry.”

The monk gives him a smile. He looks at me and smiles. I smile back and we move on to a temple.As we climb the steps of the temple, a woman in queue looks at him for long. She finally recognizes the Swami and approaches us. “You are the famous Sriram Panda…are you not?”smiles again, but this time he gives a stoic reply, “Maybe for you… I am.”


His reply can be interpreted in many ways. But for the monk, who left his stardom and wealth behind in 1992, it means just one thing… for everyone, more importantly for himself, he is just Swami Nitya Chaitanya, who teaches yoga at the famous Munger Ashram in Bihar.

ONCE UPON A TIME IN ODISHA THIS DEBONAIR MAN WAS RULING THE ODISHA FILM INDUSTRY……..He was known as the Big B of the Oriya film Industry. It is just like a monk who sold his Ferrari at the prime of life. Never ask a saint his past and a sinner his future.


The one thing was common between us  was our addiction and recovery. I was addicted to alcohol. Perhaps his interference in my life is because of Swami Niranjan. He came as a representative. A God sent. I was initiated in the year 1992 by My Master Paramhamsa Niranjananda Saraswati of Bihar School of Yoga Tradition. I was not aware and I was very much an undisciplined and wild sort of guy. When the  sobriety is established, I learned  to identify the excuses and devices that helped me blame for my  drinks on other people and conditions.  I learned that I am always responsible for maintaining my own sobriety. It is not the people.  I may blame certain things that seemed to trigger a drunk, but it is always my own compulsion that gives force to such an action. Nonalcoholics have the same human experiences I do, but such things do not cause them to have drinks. Each of us needs other recovering people to help us remember the hell of addiction. We can forget how bad it was, but telling our stories makes us remember. There is always spiritual power with every person , but the thing is willingness to change.

He shared with me everything about his past mistakes and follies and every nitty gritty. And that’s the courage I think. Accepting one’s negativities and rising above them require guts. He guided and helped me to come out from my vices. During our talks He mentioned me about Osho and to read The Power of Now – by Ekhart Tolle. In 2013, I encountered with an Osho Sannyassi on fb . We had exchange of views too. I was introduced to Osho meditation after some years. We learn, unlearn and relearn. We meet people and gain experience in the odyssey of our life. All these people that we encounter in our lives as strangers become some of our best friends for a long time or a short one. When you remember, it becomes a beautiful memory. Paulo Coelho once said, “You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.” We meet unexpected people and unexpected time and that’s the magic.

Once I was drinking in a bar, he called me over phone. I abused him saying, “ You are an escapist ( bagoda in Hindi) “ That was perhaps the rock bottom of my life. After one month I gave a message on phone and admitted my fault and apologised. I was not having the guts to face him. Finally, in Rikhia in 2016 , I took the courage to bow before him. He hugged me.


Life is there to be lived. Life has no question-mark; it is a mystery, there is no explanation. And it is good that there is none: it would be a great misfortune if there were an explanation. If there were an answer that could satisfy you, just think how flat things would become, how boring, how monotonous — because no answer can answer your questions.

Life remains an adventure, it remains a constant search. Searching, one day you come to a point where you understand that you are wasting your energies in searching. The same energies can be put to celebration. You can enjoy. Same in the life of this Monk.

Acceptance is the one of the important thing, I learned in this short journey of my life. Our thoughts are like clouds, appearing, changing shape, passing through, and then disappearing. The rain cleanses the sky, just as an emotional release cleanses your mind. The sky itself is our eternal awareness, unchanging underneath all these permutations and mathematics of life. Let it reflect back to our own abiding perfection. As we walk around, find your own metaphors and poetries for connectedness in nature. Peel them out fully and follow them as they lead you through the mystery and intelligence of life. Each of us carries a handicap, although some handicaps are more obvious than others.

And Finally Acceptance and Awareness is the ultimate of spiritual journey or whatever you can say. You are spiritual or unyogic does’t matter. We learn , We grow and We evolve.

This is my gratitude to the Monk who came as a savior. I will try to be centered. Hari Om







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These words , “ Don’t impose on me, “ – have a tremendous effect on me. Sometimes talking becomes arguments and we have to quit.  Whether that person said intentionally, consciously or unconsciously is different. We all utter words and we say we are aware. It sabotaged and crippled me initially. I didn’t ate anything that night.During the night before I slept i took an inventory. Was I wrong somewhere? I constructively took a fearless moral inventory and reviewed my day. Was I resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do I owe an apology? Have I kept something to myself which should be discussed with another person at once? Was kind and loving toward all? What could I have done better? Was I thinking of myself most of the time? Or was I thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But I must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish my usefulness to others. After making my review I ask God’s forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken? And in the morning When I met , I didn’t uttered any word. I wrote it because it pacify my soul and writing always does. Others may know from my experiences and wrongs.

The seers and saints advise that we first felt truly able to forgive others, no matter how deeply we felt they had wronged us. All round forgiveness is important. Putting out of my mind the wrongs others had done, I resolutely looked for my own mistakes. Where had I been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? Though a situation had not been entirely my fault, I tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame? The inventory was mine, not the other person. When I saw our faults I listed them. I placed them before us in black and white. I admitted my wrongs honestly and was willing to set these matters straight. It is not that person whom I have to change , It is I who have to change. The very powerful prayer I always do, “God grant me the serenity ,To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference “ has changed my perspective in life.

Few quotes which changed my life are – One of Paramhamsa Satyananda – “Assaults , abuses , injustices, taunts , harassments , discomforts , etc . have strengthen my personality . Let me – Adapt, Accept, Accommodate, . Bear Insult, Bear Injury ; highest sadhana.” And one of Acharya Rajnish-  “Be grateful to everyone, because everybody is creating a space for you to be transformed – even those who think they are obstructing you, even those whom you think are enemies. Your friends, your enemies, good people and bad people, favorable circumstances, unfavorable circumstances – all together they are creating the context in which you can be transformed and become a Buddha. Be grateful to all. To those who have helped, to those who have hindered, to those who have been indifferent. Be grateful to all, because altogether they are creating the contexts in which Buddhas are born – in which you can become a Buddha.”

It is better to say sometime, “ I’m wrong , You are right.” Peace of your mind is becomes a priority than winning an argument and justifying your stand , if the other person is not reciprocating or paying any heed to you.

Saying, “I’m wrong, you’re right” is invigorating when we are sufficiently at ease with ourselves not to be bothered about actually being in the wrong. We are left feeling relaxed and thankful that we can be open to new ideas. The finest scientists are always alert to new evidence which may prove their own theories wrong, so they can discard any false notions and move closer to the ultimate truth they are seeking.When we achieve a similar openness, we find our instant negativism has begun to evaporate. Perhaps an illustration can clarify the relationship between the desire to be always right (the negativism of seeing almost everyone else as wrong), and the freedom to be wrong ourselves-to grasp and use new ideas and other help for staying sober.

It may, or may not, prove us to be in the wrong. That is not the important issue here. Whichever way the chips fall, we have at least temporarily freed ourselves from our driving need to be always right, or one-up. We have found that a sincere “I don’t know” can be rejuvenating.

For some reason, we spent a lot of time thinking or noting or talking about how wrong or mistaken so many other people persistently were. Whether they really were or not is irrelevant to the welcome change in our own feelings now. For some, the change begins with a tentative willingness to wait and see, to accept for a moment the hypothesis that the other person just possibly might be right. Before rushing to judgment, we suspend our own argument, listen carefully, and watch for the outcome. – Being Grateful

There are times when the best reply is no reply. Silence can be an answer in and of itself. Not every rude comment, snide remark, or sarcastic question deserves a response. In fact, very few of them do. Don’t feel obligated to respond to someone simply because they want a response or are trying to push your buttons.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not talking about being rude to people or being aloof. I am talking about being wise and considering your words and your response. If your response will not help the situation, why reply? There is an old proverb that states, the wise man does not argue with a fool. This is good to remember.

I am not much into debates, petty arguments, or trading insults. In fact, as a rule, I am not going to waste time on such things. Although there are times when someone does need to be put in their place, these times are not every time someone opens their mouth or says something incorrect.

Say what needs to be said, don’t say what doesn’t need to be said, and be wise enough to know the difference. Hari Om

The Sadhaka – Rajen


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The Sadhaka – Rajen

I knew Rajen , our family rickshaw wala. There were not much communication those day, we have to depend on rickshaw. My association with Rajen goes back to my school and college days. He was in his 60s. A simple , humble and pious man.

He was a family. His lifestyle was very ordinary. He hailed from titlagarh of western Odisha. He left his family there and was striving and slogging for his roji roti at sambalpur. His favorite hide out is at siddheswar berna near fatak. At night he used to sleep. Bhole baba gave him the shelter. He was an early riser . 3.30 am was the normal waking hour for him. He used to collect bela leaves for the deity and and very good friend with the mandir pujari.

During winter in the earlier hour of the 80s and 90s , he was at our doorstep. Sprinkle water on my face. Those days I was not understanding anything. When I broke my left leg in class 7th , he took me to the hospital in his arms. His unsolicited advises, I still remember. He passed away twenty years ago. But today all of a sudden I started writing about him which I don’t know.

When I see in him in my closed eyes, I see him as a sadhaka. He was not educated , didn’t know the flowery language of spiritual stuffs but was still witnessing the existence. He believed in simplicity, humility and simple worship of Lord Shiva.

During his last days , he was very much unwell. So he resided at our home. If I remember , my brother used to pick him up to the toilet . We informed his family members at titlagarh about his   deteriorating condition. They took him to his village. After some months, we got a phone call that he passed.away. This is the story of a sadhaka.

We all change. We learn, and change, and grow. My ideas about saints and sinners changed . As we continue to accept our powerlessness, the depth of our peace increases. Turning more often to a power greater than ourselves eases our resistance to whatever condition prevails. Today ,I love myself enough to say what I believe and do what I consider right. I refuse to remain silent when confronted with injustice. My spiritual life risks the possibility of being unpopular. God , Teach me to always say and do what I believe to be true. I unearthed the spiritual law of freedom with responsibility. We can feel an inner fullness and satisfaction, knowing we have relationships we truly care about and we are accepted as we are. That alone is a remarkable reward.I appreciate the joys my relationships bring.



My Life is my responsibility

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My Life is my responsibility

It takes time to heal things. Suffering and misfortunes are greatest blessings. Sometimes the worst things that happen in our lives put us on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us. You hit the rock bottom and bounce back. Willingness is the key and acceptance leads to serenity.

Life is a jigsaw puzzle and we try to solve with our own effort. We take credit on ourselves. This doership bring ego. We are trapped. The best thing in life is to walk under the Will of God. Don’t get scared. We humans are vulnerable, nobody is invincible. I learnt from a person, how to handle life as it is and go with the flow. During my hard times he/she helped me to endure my pain and helped me in the healing process. I am always grateful to the person.

 I can depend on God for all the strength I need to overcome those faults which are blocks. I will detach myself from conflicts with others if they arise in any case in my life.

‘I can’t say I’ll never do alcohol again, because everyday I strive for my recovery one day at a time with awareness.‘ Every single day matters. It is not about alcohol but it is about life. There is always a spiritual solution in every walk of our life. I heard it somewhere , “ With each of these choices, we shape our lives. We can do it with the touch of an artist if we pay attention to the choices we are making.”

Take it easy , pain is the touch stone of life , these are the key words . Love , Give and Serve are now my motto in life. Love Unconditionally and Give Unconditionally.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

The Designer is life itself  


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The Designer is life itself  

Who design and What design? The designer of my life is life itself. You are only responsible of what you do for your survival. Some good and some bad experiences. Life has to continue. Life is a moving on theory.

At one moment of my life , I find myself invincible and at some other point I am vulnerable and fragile. We have to accept those. Without a jet leg or rockbottom one cannot bounce back. We evolve through pains and the Universe conspires. We must not hide things. We think we are more clever and playing dr jekyll and mr hyde. Yes , we are. The mask must fall up.

Too much of over thinking never opens the door. We fall , we rise. Life is a merry-go-round and we can finally have a Vanila icecream or a half bread loaf. Never ever success touches your head and failure breaks your heart. It is a constant struggle. We must strive for a balance in spiritual and material gain.

In this small sojourn of life, I found to be One-Pointed in pain and pleasure. Earlier I was lacking the infirmity of will. We have to be grateful to the Universe . Contentment doesn’t mean I won’t work struggle because struggle for my desires is the essence of life. Without struggle there is no evolution. But the point is I am not in a rat race and whatever life throws cards at me , I will accept me. Not perfection but progress is my goal. Abundance in all sphere of my life and transcending the character defects ( kama , krodha, lobha , moha. Mada and Matsreya ) . The defects in us will never go but we must accept it and transcend it . Managing oneself is the most important.

Finally I conclude with one Hermann Hesse quotes from the book Siddhartha “I have been and still am a seeker, but I have ceased to question stars and books; I have begun to listen to the teaching my blood whispers to me.” 
This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

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