Recovery , Rediscovery and Healing


Abuses, assaults, injuries, taunts have changed my life. Undergone the metamorphosis and still flowing …this is life. Before you criticise me… “Just Walk a mile on my shoes.” It is for everyone. There is a pain behind every laughter.

Develop empathy towards such persons. It is the ability to understand the true picture from another person’s perspective; to walk in their shoes, to view life from their living status and to feel what it feels like to be that person. This is called Atmabhava, i.e. to feel the pain of others. Never underestimate anyone.

Life is not a bed of roses. It was that day 3 years ago; I realized the art of acceptance and taking everything easy. I started loving the small things in life …anything … anyone unconditionally with gratitude.

In my earlier days was not at all endorsing acceptance, keep on complaining … never satisfied … expectations… desires for material ….success. But finally when I lost everything, I found the calling. A deep peace hovered around me. I started loving small things in my life and felt grateful. The Sufi says, “Be thankful not only for what you have been given but also for all that You have been denied.”

I am quoting  Albert Camus here, ““Every person, on the foundation of his or her own sufferings and joys, builds for all.”  A prayers full gratitude change the pattern of life … Just a “THANK YOU.”  The ambition of life is to live now and humbly walking under the grace of God. This helps me in smooth sailing. The prayers , “God grant me the Serenity to accept, the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and Wisdom to know the difference. Thy will, not mine, be done.

I don’t always have to carry the message; I am the message.

Blessed are they that have not seen and yet have believed.-American Proverb


This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’ 


To acquire a healthy body is gift of God  

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To acquire a healthy body is gift of God  

A run of 7km a day, heals me from emotional bankruptcy. If you still look cute at the end of your workout, you didn’t train hard enough. God let me accept the things I can’t change, courage to change things I can & the wisdom to know the difference. My sweat is my weapon.

A daily jog of 5-6 km and 12 rounds of Surya Namaskara , some backward bending asanas, standing and twisting asansas along with Pranayama . Keeps me fit. Sometimes weekend game of Tennis makes me feel good.

Self care is a divine responsibility. It is like first thing first priority. You don’t ever have to feel guilty about sharing your feelings. It isn’t desperate or pathetic or weak. It’s self-care and there is nothing shameful about taking care of yourself by unloading some of the pain you carry. Your feelings are important and they matter — you matter — and if you’re hurting, you’re allowed to reach out. You’re allowed to be honest and use your voice. You’re allowed to take up space and talk about what you’re feeling. You deserve to make self-care a priority.

I was an alcoholic. My lifestyle was hurting others and it was hurting me more. There was a calling inner. A willingness to change myself and adopting a Yogic and spiritual lifestyle. I forgot everything. Money, marriage, career became my secondary. Being Sober and recovery is my topmost priority. According to Paramhamsa Satyananda , founder of Bihar School of Yoga , “You must have the determination to carry a decision through. You must not waver, because karma, wealth, learning and death are all decided on the day of conception and man can only change it through determined efforts to keep his resolve. Love is the ultimate sankalpa On the spiritual path there are two important aspects: one is yourself and the other is God. There is no third aspect. That is what I also consider in my life. First, myself: I have to struggle, I have to survive. Then, God and His blessings. God can be reached only by love. There is no other way. The feeling of love that arises in the mind becomes the sankalpa. When you feel love, devotion and affection for someone, then whatever you think about that person becomes your pooja, your worship, your sankalpa.” This words of Him is quite inspiring to me.

I also have desires & ambitions but also I wish to grow rich is all aspects- materially, spiritually, professionally, my behaviors, character all aligned into one. The inspiring words of Sw Sivananda to Abdul Kalam when he was depressed when failed in air force exam were, “Defeat the defeatist attitude in you .” Those words were goose bumps.  According to Swami Niranjananda Saraswati , Bihar School of Yoga ,” Health is a subject which deals not only with the physical body and our perception of it, but extends right up to our spiritual nature. Health has always been the central point of our life. If we look at the history of humanity we will find that major breakthroughs and advances have been made in relation to health and well-being, but that only the physical, material aspect of the human body has been considered, not the total human picture.”

Normally people ask, “Does this mean you rank sobriety/health ahead of family, job, and the opinion of friends?”

I had experienced alcoholism as the life-or-death matter to me, the answer is plain. If I do not save my health, my life, then certainly I’ll have no family, no job, and no friends. If I value family, job, and friends, I must first save my own live in order to cherish all three. So health is a priority and I am selfish. I am grateful my Higher Power.

I am joining Saffola #ApneTareekeSeHealthy initiative and sharing my ways of being healthy in association with BlogAdda

WOW: That Day Before Sunrise




WOW: That Day Before Sunrise

Life is all about Sunset and Sunrise. That day before sunrise was quite serene. The calling was quite clear- To Follow “Thy Will. “ – After hitting the rock bottom. After losing everything I found myself. I am grateful to every failures, taunts , abuses , insults because they are my teachers . I learnt after resentments. Not to dissent but to surrender to His will.

Many ask, “Why His will you often say ? You have have all power to change your destiny. “I stopped reacting to them . I cannot use my logic, argument, intellect because these things are obstacles to achieve my priority – self care. Intellect is a greatest barrier in achieving our priorities in our spiritual life. Einstein was highly evolved intellectually, but his final statement was ‘I do not understand anything’.

The little moments of the day are as important in building our foundation as the impact of great events. In the Bible, God tells us, “Be still and know that I am God.” Learn to silence the chattering of your ego, whether through prayer, meditation, or a long walk in the park. Find that place where you can detach from the pressures of the world. Find that place where your body and spirit work together in harmony.

Being aware of your true self is the best way to free yourself from the controlling, manipulative behaviors of others. You don’t need the right car, the right shoes, the right partner to be complete. All you really need is to be yourself. This I learned from my small life. Thy will , not mine , be done . O Shiva .

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

WOW – The Unforgettable Friend/ Friendship


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WOW – The Unforgettable Friend/ Friendship

People may start their life’s journey from seemingly equal levels, but some achieve great heights in their careers where other settle into very ordinary lives. Throughout life, from grade school to the retirement home, friendship continues to confer health benefits, both mental & physical. But as life moves on, people’s priorities and responsibilities shift, and friendships are affected, for better, or often, sadly, for worse.

As days turn into months and months into years, it is still difficult to understand how to detach yourself from the people of your past and to accept the reality that they will no longer be part of your present. Finally, life is all alone. With the grace of the Higher Power we keep moving and accepting thins as it is.

The sayings in English goes like this “if you love something, let it go, if it comes back, it was meant to be.” I used to think this saying was simply thought for idealists. But there is an actual wisdom in it.

The unforgettable friend or friendship I cannot forget is story of Krishna and Sudhama. The story of Krishna and Sudama contains several hidden lessons that we could learn from. True friendship doesn’t distinguish between high & low status or between riches & poverty. Therefore today, even after thousands of years, the friendship of Krishna & Sudama is remembered all over the world as a symbol of true love.


This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

WOW- ‘Give Me A Magic Wand And I Will…’

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WOW- ‘Give Me A Magic Wand And I Will…’

Life is like a full circle. What goes around that comes around. The imagination gives us another tool: belief in ourselves. And the magic of believing offers us strength and capabilities even beyond our fondest hopes. It prepares us for the effort we need to make and for handling whatever outcome God has intended.

Although we can identify with other people’s feelings and situations, we are also not exactly the same. Our dreams and aspirations are different, our gifts and achievements vary,our personal individuality adds to the variety of life.Give me a magic wand and I will change my life. It is not selfish. Self care is not selfish. Sometimes in our lives, we can let go in an instant. We recognize that we’re dwelling on or obsessing about a particular situation, and we just let go. We drop it. Or we run into someone who has a problem, and we instinctively adapt a hands-off posture, knowing that it’s not our responsibility to takecare of other people. We say what we need to say, and we almost automatically let go and focus on taking care of ourselves.

Other times, it’s not so easy. I may be entangled in a situation that feels utterly impossible to let go of. I get enmeshed with a problem, or a person, that seems to compel us to hang on more tightly when letting go is the key. I know I shouldn’t be obsessing, but I can’t seem to stop.

I don’t ever have to feel guilty about sharing my feelings. It isn’t desperate or pathetic or weak. It’s self-care and there is nothing shameful about taking care of myself by unloading some of the pain I carry. My feelings are important and they matter — you matter — and if you’re hurting, you’re allowed to reach out. You’re allowed to be honest and use your voice. You’re allowed to take up space and talk about what you’re feeling. You deserve to make self-care a priority.

One of the things I had tried to do for many years was bury my feelings of grief and pain. I seemed to have managed that fairly well, but in doing so, I had also buried all the other emotion. I no longer took enjoyment in anything. My child’s smile evoked no feeling and I felt no pride in anything I did. I felt none of the love that others gave to me. As I started dealing with the painful feelings, the positive emotions emerged as well. But when I entered a spiritual programme , I nolonger regret anything , my past , my failures , my mistakes rather I have learned lessons and experienced.  I will open all of my body to receiving uplifting light and energy from the universe. I am not a talking head. I am a body, mind and spirit, alive in all of me.

Why Yoga is selfish ?

One day, while undergoing intense training, Swami Niranjanananda approached his guru, Swami Satyananda Saraswati, and asked, “If according to the masters and scriptures the aim of spiritual life is to serve other people, then why do we practise yoga? Everything we do in yoga is selfish. If we improve our concentration, it is our own concentration which is improved. If we awaken our dormant energies, it is our own energies that are awakened. If we improve our health, it is our own health. Whether it is mental balance, health, concentration, performance or management of sentiments, it is all directed towards ourselves. Why is the process of yoga so selfish when we are told to reach out to humanity?”

Swami Satyananda gave a beautiful answer, “It is true that whatever one does in yoga up to a certain point is for self-development. However, the attainments of those developments do not belong to the practitioner. They belong to others and they are to be shared for the upliftment of others.”

Man Plans….. God Laughs!

‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’


A Dream To Remember


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A Dream To Remember

A dream to remember is always an enigma. We thrive on dreams . we live in it and some realize it and some do not realize. Life is always a question mark? Dream appears during our sub conscious stage. It is bone chilling. I don’t remember exactly when did I dream a dream to remember. I would rather call it a vision.

It is like a Pandora box. Normally after meditation and reviewing my entire day events, I hit my pillow. I don’t what is the exact time . I had vision of My Fakir – Sai Baba of Shirdi and My Guru Sw Satyananda in a avadoot stage sitting in  a dhuni. The message was quite clear, “Follow your Dharma and don’t feel defeated. I am with you. “It vanished. It was early morning. It has a different meaning to different people, many perceptions. In order to realize it – a discipline lifestyle is needed and one has to strive even if there are repeated defeats in the odyssey of life.

Time is passing and I am playing hide and seek with the Unknown. In order to realize if my life is disciplined and more focus on what I do , how do I manage my life and living life in totality with one pointedness and in the present ( NOW ) – that is the understanding. According to Swami Niranjananda Saraswati , “Discipline is not only personal but applicable universally. Nobody has any idea of discipline. What do you call personal discipline? Waking up every morning at four? No. That can be your personal timetable, but it is not personal discipline. Personal discipline is something else which I tell the sannyasins about. So always have a compassionate and loving aim.There have been many other areas of realization and all these areas become clearer and clearer as I find myself becoming involved in situations either because they are self-created or because they exist.”

We can inventory/reviewing our attitude. Are we taking charge of it? Our attitude is something we can change. I won’t get trapped by a negative attitude. I will accept the challenge of turning my day around. Sometimes it feels like we’re starting from scratch. While we may feel a sense of excitement about this new beginning, we may also harbor a sense of dread. Not again. Not one more time. I can’t. I don’t want to. That reaction is understandable. We become tired, frightened. We feel uncertain.

Finally, the responsibility is mine. To turn my will to God’s will. I pray that I may not look back. I pray that I may keep picking myself up and making a fresh start each day. Let Thy will , not mine, be done.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’


‘It Was My Last Day In The City…’

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WOW- ‘It Was My Last Day In The City…’

I was pretty amazed what a journey I covered —– a copy writer, a journo, a theatre artist, a teacher, a barista boy, a ticket seller at Inox counter, a Customer Care Executive at different call centres and now a Lawyer —– done many unconventional jobs…. Putting your head in the sand just doesn’t cut it when it comes to change. When you begin to face and accept where you are in life, you are gifting yourself the cool, clear power to do something about it.You won’t be able to take sustainable steps towards change until you look plainly at where you are and breath it deeply in … knowing that your choices got you to this point and that if you are unhappy then you are the one who needs to make the change.In my experience, I’ve noticed that the stories that touch people’s lives always seem to have something about them that makes us feel a strong emotion. Whether it’s nostalgia or joy that we experience, we often feel inspired or motivated to do something different in our lives, all because of a story. Dear friends you can start your life at any point.

Bombay a city of colour, light, action, drama, pain and comedy. I left my town Sambalpur , Odisha and landed in Delhi for my civil service in 1999. Destiny has a different role to play. Somehow I couldn’t qualify the UPSC but due to my flair for writing and weird superfluous thinking, I landed in the City of dreams , Bombay. Mainly Bombay and Pune has made an everlasting memories, I still cherish. Dreams unfulfilled – alcoholism ruined my life. This snap was taken by a spot boy of Pritivi Theatre at Juhu beach, Bombay, 2005!. For someone coming from a small town, the roads of a city are an entanglement, a mass of people running helter-skelter, destination unknown but with determination. They can be most unnerving and daunting  and can make you feel discouraged, unimportant and isolated. After coming from theatre workshop in mumbai , ” Kya Garibi Gunah Hai” , the script half written but the show goes on …. Cities can be cruel. The bigger the city, the more ruthless it is. Many a men come to cities with hopes in their eyes and hope fueling their passions and endless desires. The desolation caused due to sabotage of their dreams and hopes has been captured by Gulzar a few times. This song is always a part of my life. “khaali-khaali bartan hai, aur raat hai jaise andha kuaan…In sooni andheri aankhon mein, aansoo ki jagah aata hai dhuaan…”

Anyone who has lived unchaperoned, unassisted, solo in one’s own for long enough could understand what a gloomy , somber sight of bare , deserted utensils is. We are so used to  prepared readymade meals when we get home that almost everyone has faced the issue of not wanting to eat when living alone in a city life. The utensils in the room somehow seem to sneer at your unpopularity, rejections and abandonment, making it all the more difficult to survive.

But thanks to God, I was picked by HIM. So, no regrets. God has a planning for everyone. It is a purpose. May my life story inspire others! Motivating to fellow sufferers. Living one day at a time brings immense pleasure and solace to the soul. Each day, seek safety in God’s secret place, in communion with Him. You cannot be wholly touched or seriously harmed there. God can be your refuge.

I am learning and growing when I accept my mistakes graciously and immediately move to correct them. Most of the time, when this is done, the distress passes quickly and I can go on to other matters. It is ok to have pain, ok to cry and that is touchstone to success. This moment is sacred. All moments are sacred. They will not come again. Earlier I was complaining. But I accepted. I am grateful to everything, every pain, every assaults because they have given me space to grow and evolve. I know everything is temporary….this too shall pass. THY WILL, NOT MINE , BE DONE . Grateful Bombay. Amchi Mumbai….बेघर को आवारा यहा कहते हस हस,
खुद काटे गले सबके कहे इसको बिज़नस..
इक चीज़ के है कई नाम यहा
ज़रा हट के ज़रा बच के, ये है बॉम्बे मेरी जान

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’